Schizophrenia - In my darkest hours.....

Do people really care if I live or die?….. if I hit the scum or fly?
Do I really care?
For, the labyrinth that I now perceive myself in
Engulfs me deep into it …….me, as well as my pain
And with it, an ounce of happiness…which I used to feel in Easy Monthly Instalments…
When I was awake…….. But am I now in slumber?
You shall know but you’ll tell me not………
For your lips are pursed with greed or lust, hell bent on making me bite the dust…

Frayed ends of sanity is all I have to cover me up and salvage my pride
Pride – What for?
For that elusive happiness which came and went?
Or the times which saw me fly?
It makes me think, laugh, sneer……and eventually I loose control, break down and cry……
Tears don’t appear, but still I cry, I feel no pain, but still I cry……
You shall know but you’ll hold me not…
For your hands, begrime with sleaze or sins, throw my indigence to the disposal bins…

Black light helps me find my way through this tunnel of hope……
Hope –What for?
For an absolved life that will never be?
Or restitution of the lost realm which once existed? Did it?
Pangs and sighs! Pangs and sighs!
Do you care for my pangs and sighs?
You shall know, but care, you will not………
For your mind stands blinded by this mist of conscience barriers and barricades

So what if people do care if I live or die? ….. if I hit the scum or fly?
Do I really care?